The music video for Britney Spears and Will.i.am’s horrible new single “Scream & Shout” debuted Thursday night on The X Factor to riotous applause from the crowd. One can only imagine that the applause was an tender-hearted attempt, probably coordinated by that old softie Mario Lopez, to keep sweet Britney from learning the truth and possibly risk teetering over the edge into another head-shaving/umbrella-jousting depression.

The truth is that the video, directed by Ben Mor, was destined to failure because the song itself is such tired auto-tuned crap. The only redeeming feature of both the song and video is the “Britney bitch” sample from Britney’s 2007 single “Gimme More,” which is interjected at three points in the song. It’s almost good enough to forgive the faux-British, Madonna-esque accent that Britney affects throughout the song.

Despite having some cool images, the video has no real punch. I appreciate a music video that doesn’t bother with a story, because they generally seem rushed and lame, but for a song that’s nearly five minutes long, you need more than just a series of images or at least a little more skin in order not to bore the audience to death. There are the requisite party ...